Feeling Overwhelmed by the World?

The expansive impact of narrowing the problem

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

“Wendy, did you see today’s news?” I could feel my mom’s anxiety as soon as she picked up the phone.

Global challenges abound—no matter your politics. Media companies and social media don’t help; they grab our attention by seizing our emotions. We seek out news to inform our actions, but instead, the anxiety leaves us stuck in inaction. Psychologists Curtis Puryear, Joseph Vanello and Kurt Gray recently found viral social media posts about a perceived social threat lead people to feel outrage— at a level clinically higher than most PTSD.

I could hear it in my mom’s voice - the toxic mixture of experiencing big problems with little potential for impact. The only thing to do is rant.

Usually, I just listen to my mom’s rants - hoping that the small emotional release valve can take the edge off of the anxiety. To be fair, I can join into a good rant as well. Yet, I’ve started to wonder about the escalation of these rants. The bigger the problems, the more overwhelming the feelings, the less capable to respond. It’s a vortex of helplessness with detrimental repercussions.

My mom and my daughter - integenerational connections as a great antidote to stress!

My mom and my daughter—intergenerational connections as a great antidote to stress!

Psychology research does have some suggestions. Unsurprisingly, there’s an important both/and here - BOTH recognizing the magnitude of the challenges AND being able to move forward. Addressing big problems with small actions. While big overwhelming feelings can drive vicious cycles of helplessness, small actions can trigger a virtuous cycle that can lead to impact.

I’m hoping that we can all find some small actions that together lead to bigger impact. I look forward to your thoughts (Mom - especially yours!)

With hopes for more both/and thinking,

** I’m not a trained medical professional. Please do seek medical advice if you are feeling like your stress and anxiety are taking over and you are not able to manage them on your own.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

Dr. Sue Varma was one of the first medical directors after the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Centers in New York City to offer psychiatric support. While many survivors suffered significant post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), some didn’t. Some people found strategies for working through the pain, to avoid causing themselves extra suffering. She wanted to know why. Importantly, they did not sweep away the difficult emotions and experiences; they faced them head on, working through them to find ways to move forward and reframe the experience. Instead of overwhelming negativity or toxic positivity, they found both/and strategies to both recognize the challenges AND find ways to move forward. Varma calls this “Practical Optimism.” Her book offers a starting place for all of us.

Here are some additional tips to move forward amid our overwhelm.

1. Name the Emotion

Like my mom, lots of us are ranting about the world’s problems. But we rarely explore the emotions that drive our feelings. Research suggests that avoiding these emotions actually intensifies them. Psychologist Dan Wegner coined the term ironic processing to describe how the more we try not to think or feel something, the more persistent it becomes. Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance, linking psychology and Buddhist teachings, offers an alternative path. Gently naming our emotion—this is stress, this is fear, this is exhaustion, this is anger —creates space between us and the feeling. In doing so, we reduce its grip and begin to loosen the paralysis that often comes with it.

2. Connect to Community: Tend and Befriend

One powerful, but often overlooked, antidote to overwhelm is connection. Rather than fight or flight in the face of anxiety, psychologist Shelley Taylor’s research identifies tend and befriend as an alternative stress response. In the face of threat, we turn toward others: to care, to collaborate, to connect. These connecting and supporting behaviors are not just comforting, it’s biologically adaptive. In moments of stress, reaching out not only strengthens relationships, it signals to our nervous system that we are not alone. Community becomes a buffer, softening the intensity of what we’re facing and reminding us we’re part of something larger.

3. Take Small Action

Overwhelm often comes with a sense of helplessness. It feels like there is so much to do, so little control. But even the smallest step can shift that dynamic. Psychologist Albert Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy suggests that our belief in our ability to act and to influence outcomes can powerfully shape our actual behavior and well-being. Taking small actions, whether or not we see the immediate impact, can have a big change on us. Taking small, manageable actions builds momentum and restores agency. More recently, psychologist Kurt Gray found that taking action on a moral issue led people to feel stronger and more capable. We don’t need to solve everything at once; we just need to begin. Ironically, these small actions often have the biggest impact, whether we can see it or not.

The world is overwhelming. But letting the feelings of anxiety overtake us only contributes to the problem. Ironically, small steps toward action can cause big impacts in ourselves and in the world.

Here’s a deeper dive into some of the research:

• Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being by Sue Varma

• Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach

• White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts: Suppression, Obsession, and the Psychology of Mental Control by Daniel M Wegner

• Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control by Albert Bandura

• Tend and Befriend Theory by Shelley Taylor

• Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground by Kurt Gray

I’m travelling in Europe at the moment between conferences, keynotes, writing retreats and vacations. I look forward to connecting with many of you at these conferences and/or when I’m back in the US in August.

• Barcelona - July 6-23

• Hamburg - July 22-23

• Copenhagen July 23-29 - Academy of Management